sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
