is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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