apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
