i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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