Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
