Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
