i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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