3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
