TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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