so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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