i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He kissed a someone with a penis
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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