i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
