And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
