Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
