ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
