Do you still have your period?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
