Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
