HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
