Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
