I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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