Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
