there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
