i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
