mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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