I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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