I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
