So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
