You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
