just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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