time to smoke my breakfast
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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