the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
