she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
