The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
