oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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