I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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