Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize
