I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
