I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
