I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
