I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
