I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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