3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
