Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
