chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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