Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
