don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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