i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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