that's an acceptable place to lick
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
