let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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