whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
