I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
