Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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